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Conflict Resolution/Transcript
Transcript Text reads: The Mysteries of Life with Tim and Moby Moby scrubs his foot with a toothbrush, as Tim walks into the room holding a tube of toothpaste. TIM: Hey Moby, have you seen my-- MOBY: Beep. TIM: --toothbrush? Tim clenches his body and teeth and counts down. TIM: Ten, nine, eight, seven… Moby, holding the toothbrush, puts his hands up. MOBY: Beep. Tim breathes easier and counts down slower. TIM: Hang on. Six, five, four, three… Tim takes a deep breath and is calm. TIM: Two, and one. Ahhhh. Moby gives Tim a letter. Tim reads from the typed letter. TIM: Dear Tim and Moby, my sister and I argue practically every day. What can I do to stop it? From, Wayne. Hey, Wayne. When you spend enough time with other people, your wants and needs are bound to conflict with theirs. Maybe you and your sister both want to use your tablet at the same time. Or, you might feel a good friend of yours isn't playing fairly. A split screen shows a sister and brother fighting over a tablet and two friends arguing while playing basketball. TIM: When situations like these arise, you're going to feel some strong emotions. That's perfectly okay. Anger and frustration are normal feelings, and everyone has them at one time or another. MOBY: Beep. TIM: It's how you deal with those feelings that counts. You may be tempted to act aggressively: with yelling and name-calling, or even with violence. That can just provoke the other person to act the same way. You won't get what you want, and you'll end up in an argument or a fight. The animation shows the sister grabbing the tablet from her brother and the friends playing basketball shoving each other. MOBY: Beep. TIM: True: sometimes they'll back down, and you'll get your way. But if you blow up at every little disagreement, you'll have a tough time keeping any friends. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who always gets his way. An image shows a boy sitting alone at a lunch table. MOBY: Beep. TIM: Yeah, it's tough to control your emotions...especially for kids. Fortunately, I've had a lot of practice in this department. Moby looks at the toothbrush he's holding and then hides it behind his back. MOBY: Beep. TIM: When I get angry or frustrated, the first thing I do is stop and recognize what I'm feeling. Next, I take a few deep breaths; sometimes I even count backwards from ten, to myself. By the time I reach one, I'm usually ready to deal with things more calmly. Images illustrate the ways that Tim controls his anger as he describes them. MOBY: Beep. TIM: Sure, just walking away is easier in the short-term but you don't want to get into the habit of ignoring stuff that bothers you. Peaceful, direct confrontation is the best way to go. MOBY: Beep. TIM: Well, you can start out by explaining how you feel in a calm, respectful way. Say you and your sister are arguing over who gets to use your tablet. You might say, "When you don't give me a turn, I get really frustrated." Explain what you want to use it for. Then, let your sister express her point of view. An animation shows the brother talking while his sister holds on to the tablet. TIM: Show that you're paying attention by making eye contact and nodding. And when someone else is talking, be sure you really listen. Maybe your sister has been waiting all day to talk her friend from summer camp. Maybe she's researching an important project for school. An animation shows the sister speaking to her brother. Images show a pair of eyes, a head nodding, an ear, a text message conversation, and a webpage. TIM: Think about how you would feel if she wanted you to just hand over the tablet. The animation shows the brother using the tablet and the sister asking for it. MOBY: Beep? TIM: People are more reasonable when they see that you understand where they're coming from. You could say something like, "I don't want to interrupt you and your friend. Can you let me know when you're done?" An animation shows the sister and brother discussing who gets to use the tablet. MOBY: Beep? TIM: It helps to think of the other person as your partner, not your enemy. The real enemy is the problem you’re both trying to solve. An image shows the tablet as a puzzle that the sister and brother are putting together. TIM: Still, if things get a little too heated, you might want to call in another person to mediate the dispute. It can be anyone you trust to be fair: a family member, a friend, a classmate, even a teacher. An image shows the sister and brother at a standoff, so their mother comes over to mediate. TIM: The mediator can decide when it's each person's time to talk, and make sure that everyone acts in a respectful manner. MOBY: Beep? TIM: The best solutions involve a compromise, each side gives a little ground. For example, you and your sister can set a schedule for sharing your tablet. An image shows a calendar with the days and hours each of them can use the tablet marked. TIM: Instead of the dispute ending with one person losing, we get a win-win situation. MOBY: Beep. Moby scrubs his foot with Tim's toothbrush. TIM: Oh, right. Well Moby, when you use my toothbrush to clean your toes, I feel grossed out. I wonder how long it's been going on, and I get sick to my stomach. Moby throws his hands up in the air. MOBY: Beep. Beep. TIM: I see: you get carbon buildup on your toes, and it's really uncomfortable. Hmm. Maybe there's a solution we can both live with. Tim and Moby label separate toothbrushes with their names and put them back in the toothbrush holder. On the tag, it reads: Tim's toothbrush. On the tag, it reads: Moby's toebrush. Category:BrainPOP Transcripts Category:BrainPOP Health Transcripts Category:BrainPOP Engineering & Technology Transcripts